Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Homeschool Moms Who Can't Do Everything

This is from the Gravy Pages! I love it!!! Click over to her site to see some more awesome homeschool stuff!

The Homeschool Moms who Can't Do Everything Sung to the tune of Veggie Tales "The Pirates who Don't Do Anything." By Joelle White and Maura Light, who wrote the chorus and started the whole thing.

All 3 Moms:
We are the home school moms who can't do everything
We just stay at home and plan a lot
And if you ask us to do everything
We'll just tell you
We can't do everything

Mom2:
Well, I've never been to Boston and I've never shot a musket,
and I've never built a cabin using nothing but an axe,
and I've never skinned a possum, and I've never staged a battle,
and I've never started home school before fall!

All:
We are the home school moms who can't do everything
We just stay at home and plan a lot
And if you ask us to do everything
We'll just tell you...

Mom3:
We can't do everything!

And I've never distilled water, and I've never banded birdies,
and I've never built an ant farm 'cuz I can't stand things that crawl,
and I've never dug a fossil, and I've never owned a test tube,
and I've never started home school before fall!

All:
We are the home school moms who can't do everything
We just stay at home and plan a lot
And if you ask us to do everything
We'll just tell you
We can't do everything

Mom1:
And I've never slaughtered chickens, and I've never milked a go-oat,
and I've never gone to 4-H or the local county fair,
and I've never sewn a jumper, and I don't look good in denim,
and I've never started home school before fall!

Mom2: Huh? What are you talking about? What's a milk goat and denim jumpers got to do with being a home school mom?

Mom3: Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about academic-y things!

Mom1: Oh...

Mom2: And who ever sews school uniforms? That's impossible! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?

Mom3: I think you should do your laundry.

Mom2: Huh? Why do you think that?

Mom3: You should...

Mom2: Don't wanna!

Mom3: You wore that shirt yesterday!

Mom2: That's it, you're going to help me!

Mom3: Says who?

Mom2: Says ME, that's who!

Mom3: Oh yeah? Well I'm not picking up your socks! (pinches her own nose)

Mom2: Argh!

Mom3: Yike!

Mom1:
And I've never done gymnastics, and I've never danced the polka,
and I've never painted daisies 'cause I cannot paint at all,
and I've never made a schedule, and my house is never perfect...

Mom2: It'll never happen!

All: And we've never started home school before fall!

We are the home school moms who can't do everything
We just stay at home and plan a lot
And if you ask us to do everything
We'll just tell you
We can't do everything

Mom2: Pass the pencils! Who's got the teacher's guide?

Mom1: Here it is! (holds up shredded paper)

Mom3: (groans, then smiles with sudden inspiration) Time for recess!

Mom2: It's definitely time for Scotch tape.

Mom3: Oh, I don't like that stuff...

Mom1: Hey, look! I found a crayon!

(That was funny, take me back to the top)
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